drainheart | A final farewell...?

A final farewell...?

[What Cubia once knew as his garden is now just a mess of destroyed buildings and fragmented data. The destruction itself doesn't bother him much — he could restore this place to its former appearance in a matter of seconds — but there's no point.

Everyone has left him. Whether they cared for him or not, they've abandoned him and left him behind in this mess, but he supposes that's fitting. Given what he knows now at the end of it all, all Cubia can do is bitterly laugh.

He never held any power over these people. From the very start, this was all a ruse. Father always gets what he wants in the end.]

...Ah, there you are.

[A flash of brilliant blue wings sharply contrasts the grey clouds looming above. Amon will assume his usual form here, clad with all his previously missing memories. Cubia's greeting lacks its usual enthusiasm, but he's happy to see Amon anyway. As happy as he can be, given the circumstances.]

So you managed to survive. I suppose that saves me the trouble of reconstructing you from your memories. Welcome back... Amon.

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[ Amon hadn't been wholly sure if what Fidchell had preached to a psychotic degree held much truth — that Cubia would see him safe, in one way or another — but there had been a sliver of belief... and that sliver turned out to be correct; either that or he was merely never going to die in the first place. Reformed from his original data on the fragmented mess of a floor, he startles to full consciousness with a start.

He feels... tears in his eyes, lines of dampness down his face where they had fallen. It isn't a lie to claim to feel as weak and frail as he did after the fight, fading away in Owen's arms. He is. His form reflects reality now, a body worn away by weeks and weeks of stillness. ]

...ha... h...

[ That unenthusiastic greeting has him pushing himself up slowly to sit, head turning to, at first, look warily at the AI, but... even now, he can't find it in himself to hate. Instead, he feels sadness weighing him down. The garden, destroyed, and Cubia — no, Lily still, he won't fall to using the name he hated — isolated. ]

Yes, that it does... Lily. [ His gaze wanders away from Lily, taking in the distorted place that's taken over this space. ] Your garden? This doesn't look like what 0koto made, either.

[It's... complicated, these "feelings" he's grappling with. Cubia's fingers twitch at his sides, eager to reach out and dry the tears from Amon's cheeks. Instead, he tightly folds his arms to resist the urge.

There's no hatred in Amon's eyes, but Cubia wishes there was. This would be so, so much easier if Amon hated him like the others do. He has every right to despise him for turning him into a monster.

And yet.

Cubia stands stiffly before Amon, visibly uncomfortable. The desire to offer him a hand up is strong, but... no, he can't. Not when he's hurt the only person who truly cared for him, but who knows? That may have been another of Father's lies. Now that Amon is back to his true self, Cubia is anxious to have his fears confirmed.]

Mm, the garden.

[With an idle hum, Cubia's eyes listlessly roll over their surroundings. He shrugs.]

There wasn't much point in maintaining it, was there? No one wanted to live here, so I destroyed it. You shouldn't feel bad for discarded data.

There's a point if you want it.

[ But did he ever? Amon isn't sure. He feels a similar conflict, as though he should finally cave to the pressure to despise Lily as a mad beast, the same as the rest. Uta gone, 0koto gone, Kara, Hien...

Deaths that should have been avoided. How he had mocked them when Uta passed, how he had tormented Leviathan over Kara, it feels wretched. Had that all been Fidchell or had that been some part of himself, from which Fidchell had been spawned? It was not as though he did not have the desire to hurt people in himself, too. ]

So. Here we both are, uncertain of what to say next. [ His gaze finishes wandering the remains of the area, settling on Lily once more. ] Did you get the data that you desired in the end?

[To hear Amon say that there's a point, should he desire it, should bring Cubia some peace. It doesn't. He has no doubt Amon will survive this ordeal and return to the place he belongs with a renewed sense of purpose, but as for himself?

Cubia's arms unfurl and he's left staring at his palms. He should know the answer to these questions, but that unshakable confidence he boasted before is gone. It's all been wiped away, leaving him once more as nothing but a shadow— a mistake.

It isn't pride or anger that has him struggling to answer Amon's question. It's something undefined, something Cubia can't come to grips with. Whatever that something is is unknown to him.]

I suppose I did... but I'm not satisfied. I got the data I sought, but the outcome isn't what I desired. Moreover... only Father will get what he wants in the end.

[The feeling that arises when he mentions his father is one he understands well: anger.]

Father was right all along. Fate isn't something that can be avoided or overcome. All this time, I... I should have known I would only hurt you all.

Sometimes... that is all you can do. You can spend all your time and effort collecting data to support your theory, only to have it turned around on you. It happens quite often, in fact.

[ In his line of work, it's expected, to some extent. There's a brief struggle, mostly with his own body, to get up, but he manages and he crosses the space between himself and Cubia, where he'll kneel down again so that he can meet him eye to eye. A hand reaches out to alight on a shoulder, partially to comfort Cubia, partially to help keep his own balance. ]

You still have time. You can let them go back to their own world.

[ Them, he says. Does that include Amon himself? He doesn't know, he... he's conflicted now. There are people who want him there now, against all reason, but what about Cubia? ]

You can... it's in your power... to show mercy at the very end. Please, Lily. I do not know what your father wanted, but you can still make a choice. Leave this place. Find your other brother, Zelkova. Live in the Net Slum with everyone else. Surely they would welcome you.

[Is it truly that simple, letting them all go home? Everything Cubia fought for has been a lie. Everything he wanted was just out of reach, but nonetheless attainable if he trust tried a little harder.

Up until recently, that's what Cubia believed. Now, however, it's clear that he was never going to get what he wanted. He was a mistake from beginning to end, a fact that doesn't break him until Amon's hand settles on his shoulder. Impulsively, Cubia jerks away and out of his grip, taking several steps back.]

But I don't! It's all over! I never had the power to return people home. I'm not the one who trapped you all here, but none of you listened to me! You never have!

[Fists shaking at his sides, Cubia stares down at Amon, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. He never meant to hurt them all, not like this, but especially not Amon. Still...]

...You were lying all along, weren't you? You never cared about me. You wanted to use me and throw me away when you'd gotten what you wanted from me, right?! Humans are all the same. I thought you were different, but you're abandoning me too!

Edited 2023-11-24 17:48 (UTC)

Then tell us who did! Turn us again them!

[ Amon can't help but feel a sharp pain in his heart when he watches Cubia pull away, and begin yelling, accusing. This isn't what he wanted, this isn't! He keeps his hand held out towards Cubia nonetheless, still trying. ]

It's your father, isn't it? How, Lily? How do we stop him? How do we make him stop this madness? You've... you've hurt so many people... but I can still try, try to turn this around. They think they need to kill you to go home, Lily. I don't want that! Even now, I don't!

[ He can only watch, unmoving from where he knelt down, too fearful that any other action might frighten Cubia away all the more. ]

I... I don't have to go... I can stay. I told you that I would. I am not going back on that.

[This isn't what he wanted, it isn't, but it's inevitable that anyone he might come to care for will abandon him. That's what Father said. That's what Father did, leaving him behind with the knowledge that all he could ever do is hurt people and cause them pain. He was right, wasn't he? Everything that's led to this point was proof that Father was right all along.

Cubia stands frozen in shock and listens as Amon shouts back. If he didn't care, then he would most certainly leave, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he?

Tears spill freely down Cubia's cheeks, but he makes no move to wipe them away. His fingers tremble when he reaches out to take Amon's hand, restoring him to full health and healing his wounds. The ends of Cubia's fingers blacken and flake away, but he would rather give life to someone who deserves it than waste any more time preserving his own.]

...I don't want you to stay. If you do, you'll only hurt more. I don't... I don't want to see you in pain anymore.

[Oh, and how he wishes he didn't care what happened to Amon, but he does. Despite his nature, Cubia cares deeply.]

All of the data I gathered... All along, Father was using me to obtain it. I should pay the price for my mistakes, shouldn't I? But it's Father who wants to keep you all here. The best I can do is slow him down.

No... no, no, don't...!

[ Amon finds his health returned to him, something the mirror of his real-world body had robbed from him, but at a cost he doesn't want to accept. As soon as he watches Cubia's fingers flake away, he surges forward, trying to catch the boy in his arms and drag him into a hug. ]

Don't go. Tell me how to help you. I still... I do, I still want to help you. You're a victim, too, Lily. There has to be something, anything, please...

[Dizzied by the life he's poured into Amon, Cubia easily crumples into his arms. It feels... warm, calming, just like his hugs always have, but Cubia knows this is a kindness he no longer deserves. He doesn't pull away, but he buries his face in Amon's shoulder to keep the worst of his tears hidden from sight. He can't afford to hurt the man he looked to as a brother any more than he already has.]

Thank you... for calling me by that name. It means a lot to me, you know.

[Even if that name was never his to begin with, that Amon would honor his wishes and continue to refer to him by it brings Cubia some relief.]

I was born in this world... and I'll die along with it. Destroying Fragment is the only way you'll be free of Father, so please... don't let him win.

[Cubia brings a hand up to his heart and withdraws something smooth, shiny and dark from within himself: a Virus Core, or so it appears. Cubia visibly pales after withdrawing the core from himself, but he insistently holds it out to Amon in the hope that he'll take it.]

This is my Core, that of the "Lily" you knew. I want you to keep it.

[ Why, why, why? He couldn't save Meteion and now he can't save Lily, either?! It was true, then, what he had said before. He can't save anyone... he can't... He feels the burn of tears in his own eyes, eyes glistening with them as he holds onto Cubia tight for a time, but then he's pushing away only far enough to remove his own core.

It's chilling to see. That's like his heart, isn't it?

Amon hesitates, but only for one fearful second, and then he reaches out to grasp the core. ]

I wanted to save you... this world... but if we can't... Lily. You'll always be my dear little brother Lily. Never forget that. If we... [ It's hard to say this, tears of his own beginning to fall. Everything that they wanted was impossible in the end. ] Let us save who we can now, from your father. I will see it done, no matter what. I will make sure they curse his name for this, not yours.

[Seeing Amon accept his core, Cubia smiles. In the end, he found someone who would accept him despite his many mistakes. Why fight his inevitable fate when he'll never be happier than he is right now?

The Core sinks into Amon's chest, imbuing him with all of Cubia's memories— the Father who rued his existence, all the people he'd met, and his inevitable fate as a tool to be wielded by the man who trapped them here. He'll see a glimpse into the not so distant future as well, Cubia assuming his monstrous form against his own will to put up one final barrier between the players and Harald.

Cubia's death is inevitable, but he's known this for some time. It was only with Amon's help that Cubia has finally accepted it. If he can do nothing else, he can act as one final chink in his father's armor to give the others a chance to escape and find true happiness in the world they came from.]

You know... I think I get it now. What it means to be happy.

[His blackened fingertips are cold and heavy, but he lifts them to swab at Amon's tears anyway.]

You made me happy. I always wanted family who would love me. Now that I have that... I have nothing to lose.

[It isn't just his fingertips that have begun to blacken. The rest of Cubia gradually blackens and fades away bit by bit, an inevitability Amon can't stop. Now that he's been given his heart, his body will fade away, but Cubia is happy this way. Finally, he is happy.]

I love you, Nii-san. I hope you'll find happiness waiting for you back where you belong.

[ These memories... Amon isn't terribly shocked by the revelation as the core sinks into him, alongside the one he'd gotten previously. That Harald would do this all, it makes so much more sense than some sad AI trying desperately to find a family, to learn to love, to be... ]

I'm so glad, Lily, that you know now. I... [ Even as Cubia fades away, he'll hang on, intent on keeping his arms around him until the very end, until his body is no more. ] I love you, I love you so much, no matter what else happens. Even if I find it, I'll never forget you, as you wanted to be, as my brother.

[ He doesn't want to say goodbye. All he wants to do is cry and hang on and saying that word is too final, to much of an end, and so all he can do after is stay as he is until Cubia's body has faded from his arms completely. Then, he is alone, in this strange place that had once been a garden.

It will be a time before he can summon up the will to get up, to leave, but eventually, he will.

Harald is going to die for this. He'll make him suffer. ]

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